For most of his life, Katsuki thought something was wrong with him. Or, not wrong, that was the incorrect word. But different than most of his peers. He was twenty-nine years old and in the top five in the hero rankings. He was the number one hero three years ago and had a good chance to become it in the next turn again. He was in a constant race with Deku, Shoto Todoroki, and Lemillion. Fifth place was usually Yaoyorozu.
Objectively, he had what he wanted. He was one of the strongest heroes out there; he was super popular. He had made friends, especially with Deku; their friendship was crazy strong after everything they went through. But also Eijiro, he was one of his biggest supporters.
So it irritated him when Eijiro told him he had a girlfriend a couple of years ago. And three years ago, he got even married to her and had a bunch of kids too. She wasn’t a hero; she trained dogs for a living.
Shoto also got married to Yaoyorozu. Even though they didn’t plan on having kids for the moment, they were only twenty-four when they said yes. Katsuki couldn’t believe it when he learned about that. Sure, they have been dating since high school but still …
Even Kaminari and Sero got girlfriends and, by now, wives. Kaminari even had a kid already. When he heard that about social media, he was utterly shocked; in his head, the guy was still sixteen. But no, in reality, he was twenty-five. Gosh, time really went by fast.
When they sat together (they were around twenty-five), he got asked if he had a girlfriend or interest in someone. Katsuki was stunned when they asked him that. He had never really thought about that if he was honest.
The others were baffled as well. “Does that mean you are still a virgin?” Kaminari asked him with wide eyes.
“Uh,” Katsuki stuttered. “As if I got time for something like that!” He ended this with a grunt. “I have too much going on with my hero career. A girlfriend or kids would only distract me.” He crossed his arms in front of his chest.
They still giggled a bit, and Katsuki was heavily annoyed. What was so important about having a girlfriend or sex?
But after those snarky comments, he still went out to a bar the other night. He didn’t know why it triggered him so much, but he wanted to prove to someone that he could do that too.
He drank a few beers, and it tasted even worse than usual; it burned his tongue and made him sick. He swallowed hard and, as expected, got some advances from a few women. Usually, he ignored them; he would never take fans with him. But this time was different.
They were at her house since it was closer. Katsuki was more nervous than he really should be. Her lips on his tasted bad, like poison. She purred almost when she dragged him into her bedroom.
Katsuki watched her undress, and dread rose in him. He felt even sicker, even though he had just a few beers. Her clothes dropped, and she sprawled onto the bed, giving him a good look at her cunt.
The blond swallowed heavily, biting on the inside of his cheek until he tasted metal in his mouth. “I’m sorry! I can’t do that!” He flung around and left the baffled woman behind. He felt terrible; she must think that she was the problem. Which was partially true; he just felt sick looking at her.
Katsuki felt better when he came home; the sick feeling subsided. So … he couldn’t do it? God, this was the worst. He pulled his phone out and texted the woman; he had gotten her number before. He apologized for his behavior. She never answered.
After this incident, he refused all advances of women, no way that he could be with one. The mere thought of putting his penis inside a woman was absolutely terrifying for him. He felt sick and dirty. In general, the thought of putting his dick in anything was dreadful.
What was wrong with him? He could fight the nastiest villains, no problem. But having sex? This terrified him to no end!
Even masturbation was hard for him; he really didn’t like to touch himself. Sure, he sometimes had periods in which he was hornier than usual, but not that much as apparently his friends. Why would they even talk about that out loud? He never got it.
He felt kind of shameful just thinking about it. So whenever those topics came up, he always prayed that they would ignore him.
Then, at twenty-seven, they had another get-together that stuck out. “What about you, Izuku? You still haven’t had a girlfriend,” Shoto asked him.
“Oh, yeah, I’m not interested in women,” he told them. “I’m gay.”
Katsuki perked up. Gay? Izuku was gay? He liked guys?
“Oh, is that so? So, do you have a boyfriend then?” Sero asked.
“Not at the moment, I had some flings a couple of years ago, but I’m not really keen on one-night-stands or anything. I want something serious, but all the guys I met didn’t want to settle. And it still felt like it was not the right time,” he told them.
“Ah, yeah, I understand that. It’s sometimes tough,” Kirishima said.
Katsuki’s thoughts were racing after that talk. Could it be that he was also gay? It never crossed his mind, if he was honest. After the thing that happened between him and that woman, he banned all these thoughts from his head. He needed to talk to Izuku!
“Hey, Izuku, can I ask you a question?” He felt so stupid, but if he didn’t ask right away, then he would never do it.
“Oh, yeah, sure, Kacchan,” he smiled at him.
“How did you figure out that you were gay?” Nervously, Katsuki fidgeted with his fingers.
“Huh, uhm, you remember that I dated Ochako for a while, right? During that time, I slowly realized that this was just not what I wanted. Women were just not that attractive to me. So, I broke things off with her, and I looked around. I stayed single for a few years before a guy asked me out. I was totally confused by this, but after a while, I realized, yep, that fits better. I like guys!” He explained.
Katsuki pursed his lips. “I see …”
“Why do you ask?” Izuku wanted to know.
“Oh, just curiosity …,” he murmured.
After that incident with that woman, Katsuki started to think that he might be asexual, but it still didn’t feel suitable for him. But he accepted this label for himself with a grain of salt. But now, after Deku’s reveal, he started thinking about it more. He never really thought about it previously. But guys sure were more attractive than women.
Katsuki did some “research,” as he called it. At first, he was embarrassed about it, trying the bare minimum by looking up shirtless guys on the internet. He felt so stupid for doing that. How could he not know if he was gay or not? Totally stupid! He was sure he wasn’t, right? But the longer he looked, the fewer clothes these guys had on.
Eventually, they were naked, and Katsuki felt himself blushing. Did he really do that? Gosh, what was up with him? Why did he not know what he wanted? How could this be so hard?
Too embarrassed to look further, he stopped his “research” and deleted his browser history.
