Not as planned 2 - Katsuki, Izuku and Eijiro   von Puraido
                                 (A/B/O Verse)
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            Kapitel 1: +10 Years: Katsuki + Eijiro – Heart to Heart
            -------------------------------------------------------


Ever since New Year, Eijiro was looking for a new job, but it wasn’t exactly
easy. He got frustrated when he got one refusal after the other. It seemed like
some companies were scared to hire former heroes.

“No luck today?” Mae asked. She sat at the kitchen table, feeding the
triplets and Ryuu. Her silver hair was a bit messy, still from standing up very
early. Her dogs were sprawled over the floor around her.

“Jep, they don’t really want to hire former heroes, they are afraid that me
being at the company could affect the climate, or could attract villains,
yada-yada,” he grimaced.

Mae raised her eyebrows. “Wow that’s tough,” she growled slightly.

Eijiro sat opposite of her, he was his laptop, he was still looking for a job.

“I made an appointment in the hospital for the bond scrubbing,” Mae told him
after some time.

Eijiro looked up. “Really? When is it?” He asked.

“Next Thursday … at ten.” She exhaled deeply. Her ears were a bit droopy.

The alpha looked down at the keyboard of his laptop. He knew that it was hard on
her. He admired her for her strength though. Not everyone would handle a
situation like that so well.

“Alright. I will remember that.” He clenched his jaw.

“And you, when are you going to talk with Katsuki?” She questioned.

“I, uh, guess I will do this today. He texted me, that he got his day off
today.”

“Well, good luck then.” Mae tended to Akemi, who had trouble eating.

“Thank you.” He was more than a bit nervous if he was honest. He hadn’t
talked to Katsuki in some time, the other didn’t even know what happened at
Christmas to Eijiro.

Eijiro sighed and closed the laptop, it was really frustrating, that he
couldn’t find a job …

He stood up and kissed his pups goodbye, out of reflex he wanted to lean over to
Mae too, but he stopped himself, no, this was nothing he could do anymore. Her
gaze lingered on him, sadness in her eyes.

The alpha cleared his throat and backed off. “Well, uh, see you later then.”
He gave her an awkward smile.

“Yeah … see you later.” She pursed her lips and looked down.

Eijiro walked out of the house and to his car. While he didn’t have another
job, he did all the office work in the Red Steel agency. It wasn’t optimal,
but better than nothing.

 

Katsuki stretched after he came back from his morning round. He had made it in
time so that Hiroto could go to work. He spotted his husband at the stove,
talking to Kira who sat on her chair waiting for her breakfast. Katsuki snuck
around making sure that Kira didn’t give him away before he surprise-hugged
Hiroto from behind. “Gotcha!” He smiled.

Hiroto turned around and chuckled. “Oh, would you look at that! If that
isn’t the most amazing man in the entire world,” he leaned over and placed a
kiss on Katsuki’s mouth. Katsuki chuckled at that.

Kira squealed in happiness when she spotted Katsuki. She reached out for him and
he quickly walked over and took her in his arms. She nestled against the crook
of his neck, making some happy chirping sounds.

Katsuki returned to his husband’s side and looked at him. Hiroto laughed and
he got a piece of pancake on a fork and he held it up for Katsuki. “Look,
Kira, mommy is getting some food” Katsuki teased her while taking the bite.

“Oh-oh!” The pup made, her mouth was “O”-shaped and her eyes wide. “Do
you want some too?” Katsuki took the fork with another piece of pancake and
held it up for Kira. The pup giggled and opened her mouth again. Katsuki fed her
the bit and she squealed.

“What are your plans today?” Hiroto asked. His hand wandered down
Katsuki’s hip and he squeezed his ass playfully.

“Oh, I’m just heading off to the agency to bring some of the documents over,
and Michiko wanted to talk to me, and later I meet up with Eijiro. He wanted to
talk about something too.”

“Full day, even though it’s your day off, huh?” Hiroto let out a little
huff.

“Yeah, on top of that, I have to deal with the old hag, she wants me to bring
Kira over.” Katsuki made some grimaces, to keep his pup entertained.

“Well, she hasn’t seen her in … like two days, so yeah,” he said
sarcastically. He put the pancakes on two plates and they walked over to the
kitchen table.

They sat down and started eating. “Just imagine the withdrawal she must
suffer,” Katsuki rolled his eyes dramatically.

“She is lucky that she’s not a nutjob like my mother.” He heavily cringed.
“Jun contacted me, by the way,” Jun was his older sister, “she is pregnant
again.”

“How the fuck …?” Katsuki mouthed.

“I have no idea,” Hiroto returned equally quiet. One could see that he was
so done with his parents.

Katsuki always thought that alpha females weren’t as fertile in regards to
catching, but apparently, he thought wrong.

They finished their breakfast and after that, he kissed his husband goodbye,
before tending to his daughter again. He changed her into fresh clothes, he tied
her dark blonde hair into little pigtails, talking with her while doing so.

“Do you want to go to Grandma and Grandpa?” He asked her.

“Ya-ya!” She babbled. She grabbed Katsuki’s hand with hers and held it.

“Okay then, we should get ready then”, he kissed her on the forehead. He
lifted Kira in his arms and went down with her to the car. He checked if his
house was secure before he activated the alarm system. After the stalker
incident, this was his new best friend, he had upgraded it even more to now
detect people with cloaking quirks like this fucking bitch had.

Karma was behind him, barking happily in anticipation. The system beeped once to
signal that it was ready.

Katsuki opened the trunk of his car and Karma jumped in, barking once. He then
rounded the vehicle to put Kira in her child seat. Lastly, he jumped behind the
steering wheel and they were ready to go.

 

He drove by his parents’ house first to load off Kira and Karma. Mitsuki
stormed out of the house immediately when she saw his vehicle drive into the
driveway.

“Ah, I thought you would never show up!” She greeted him.

Katsuki rolled his eyes. “Calm down, old hag! You pretend as if you never get
to see Kira ever again,” he growled.

He unbuckled Kira, while Mitsuki was opening the trunk. “Well, it felt like
forever. And unlike you, she is such a sweet baby!” She told him.

Katsuki rolled his eyes hard. “Charming, really charming,” he grumbled. He
took Kira’s backpack and followed his mother, who had already ripped his
daughter out of his arms, inside.

Masaru was in the kitchen. “Good morning, son,” he greeted.

“Yo, dad,” he sat down next to him, Karma was crawling under the table,
roaming around their feet.

“Is she hogging Kira again?” He chuckled.

“Yes, she does, she’s like a vulture, but worse, she doesn’t even wait
until I look away,” he grimaced.

“Be glad to no longer live with her. ‘Oh, when does this brat come over? I
want to see my cute little angel again!’” He mocked his wife.

“Oh, shut up!” Mitsuki yelled at him, but she wasn’t as aggressive since
she had Kira in her arms.

“I see what you mean …” Katsuki scoffed. “Hopefully she doesn’t steal
the second pup from me too,” he mumbled.

Mitsuki perked up. “Are you pregnant again?”

Katsuki scoffed. “Not yet, but I’m planning to.” He told her, a grin on
his face.

His parents were excited to hear that. “Aaah, Kira, you hear that? You will
soon get a sibling!” Mitsuki cooed. She took her into the living room to play
with her.

Katsuki and Masaru rolled their eyes. “Well, then I wish you … luck? Fun?”
The beta cleared his throat.

Katsuki chuckled. “Thanks … Anyway, I will go now, Michiko wanted to talk
about something, better not keep her waiting,” he slapped on the table surface
one time and stood up.

“Drive carefully,” Masaru told him.

“Sure will,” Katsuki left the kitchen. “I will be back later!” He called
out to his mother and Kira.

 

He left the house and drove to the agency. When he entered he felt the bad vibes
immediately. “Woah, what happened?” He asked.

Michiko was in her chair, she stared at the ceiling, but now she lowered her
gaze. “Well, my brother called on New Year.”

“Wait, you have a brother?” Katsuki asked confused.

“Yep, hoped the fucker would be dead though,” she sighed, “anyway. I want
to warn you, Katsuki. He made some ominous threats of hurting my family. And I
count my co-works as my family too.”

“What? Why would he hurt your family?” He blinked a few times, he still
couldn’t make sense out of the information.

“Because he hates me, and after I almost killed him, he is out for blood.”
Michiko tapped her fingers on the surface of her desk.

“You almost killed your brother?” That was a surprise.

“Yeah, in my last year of UA. My sister-in-law wanted to leave him because
he’s an abusive piece of shit, she called me as a backup, I snapped when he
tried to kill his own daughter. Punched the living shit out of him for over an
hour. Korra and I contemplated if we want to call an ambulance or the police but
… to be honest, we both wished he would die. So after I cleaned myself up, we
just left. He was alive when we left, but he was so badly injured that he could
have died any minute. I brought Korra away to my friend’s house, and then I
went back to UA the next day as if nothing ever happened, aside from Sougo,
Kuroko, and Satsuki I never told anyone. I learned later, that the mansion
burned down. Fucker was alive and he left, I sure hoped that someone else had
finished the job, but guess not.” She growled.

Toya and Katsuki were both equally shocked while the other three just kept
quiet. “Uh, okay, that’s quite a lot,” Katsuki mumbled.

“Here’s an old picture of him, but this was before he went MIA.” She
showed it around.

Toya bit down on his lip. “Wait, what’s your brother’s name?”

“Yakeru Yutaka,” Michiko answered.

“Holy shit! What? Are you kidding me?” Toya couldn’t believe it.

“What do you mean?” Michiko asked.

“I met this motherfucker while I was still with Hiko! One day he came to the
hideout, completely messed up! He wouldn’t tell us what happened to him,
though, he fell into a rage when some of the other fuckers mocked him. He went
under the villain name Rekka.”

“Ah,” Michiko wasn’t even surprised, “that’s where he went.”

“Even among those assholes he always stood out. He usually went by his villain
name, there was only one time, that he mentioned his first name, that’s why I
never connected the dots. But now that you mention it, you have a similar smell
…” Toya recognized.

“Shit, I remember Yakeru all too well. Told me to die for being quirkless,”
Sougo grimaced.

“I definitely didn’t miss him,” Satsuki murmured. “He was always kinda
scary.”

“Even for my standards, indeed,” Kuroko added.

“And he would really try to go for your family and co-workers?” Katsuki
asked.

“Oh hell yeah, he knows that he can’t beat me, so he looks for the next
best: People that are important to me. So please, everyone, be careful!” She
had a serious look on her face. “Don’t ever trust him.”

Toya covered his stomach with one hand. Some unpleasant memories of Rekka came
back to his mind. He grabbed Sougo’s hand for comfort. Aside from Hiko, this
guy had been the most fucked up individual. Especially after losing to Michiko.

Katsuki pursed his lips and stared at the ground, he was in thoughts. He
wondered what had to happen that someone wanted to kill his own family.

Still deeply in thoughts, he walked back to his car, a while later. He offered
to take Toya home with him and the omega agreed. He had also his day off and was
only there for Michiko’s talk.

“What did this guy do while he was with Hiko?” Katsuki asked.

“When he came back after he got beaten so badly, he was in a complete rage.
Hiko had some omega’s over, twins to be exact. They were her private dancers
since they had a fire quirk that activated with dancing. He slammed open the
doors and barged in like a madman. I was sitting with a man named Musashi on the
other side of the room. He was an alpha and honestly, he was the only semi-sane
person in the whole group.”

“Rekka screamed that he wanted to kill this fucking bitch but he never
specified who he meant, at least not to me. He grabbed one of the dancers and
started to beat her. Of course, Hiko didn’t interfere. The sister was
mortified when he burned her alive. Hiko applauded when he was done and turning
to the second one.”

“What the fuck?!” Katsuki was shocked to hear that.

“Yeah, that was normal with them … Musashi always had this displeasing look,
he could have said something, he’s a prime alpha as well, but he never did. I
wonder why …” Toya scratched his head.

“I wonder in general, how people can stay with Hiko.”

Toya looked down. “… I had nowhere to go … she was all I got when I ran
away from home.”

Katsuki cursed internally. “Well, uh, but you made your decision to leave her.
Those fuckers that are still with her, those are the ones I don’t
understand.”

“She does this quite often, picking up strays from the streets and making them
dependable of her. It’s hard to leave when she tells you, you still have a
dept with her.”

“Well, then I’m glad you made it out of there.” Katsuki parked the car in
front of the Todoroki residence.

“I think, me living with her was part of the reason why I was so fucked up.
She got me into killing people …”

“How do you deal with that?”

“Better now, I still got nightmares, even after all this time … It stays
with you …” His gaze was gloomy. “I have a bad feeling about all of this
…”

“Me too, everything that involves Hiko is a red flag for me.” They got out
of the car and walked inside. Fuyumi greeted them.

“Hey, Toya, hey Katsuki, …” she paused when she saw their dark faces.
“What’s wrong?”

“Oh, just, uh, something from my past came up …,” Toya mumbled. He
deliberately avoided talking about his past in front of his sister and his
mother, even in front of Natsuo.

Her smile faltered and she furrowed her brows in concern. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I, uh, I’m fine.” He gave her a smile.

Katsuki cleared his throat and said his goodbyes to Toya. The omega nodded and
hugged him quickly, before walking deeper inside the house.

Katsuki went to a coffee shop to get some coffee after those revelations. He
would soon have his meeting with Eijiro. He wondered what his friend wanted to
talk about.

 

Eijiro was quite nervous when he finished up work. How should he fucking start a
conversation like that? He started to rumble to self-soothe. No, he could do it,
now or never!

Tetsutetsu gave him a thumbs-up when he left. Eijiro sighed and got into his
car. His stomach was turning. “Fuck,” he muttered under his breath when he
stopped his car in a parking lot.

He needed a few minutes to calm himself, he turned off the engine and he leaned
back, closed his eyes, and counted to ten. No, he could do that. They had a lot
of terrible conversations in the past. They always managed to come out on top,
he just had to hope for the best, that Katsuki could forgive him for this …

When he felt ready after a few minutes, he started the car again and made his
way over to Katsuki’s house.

 

Katsuki made some snacks since he didn’t really know the occasion of
Eijiro’s visit. Besides, it helped him calm down from what he had heard
earlier. He flinched when the doorbell rang. He was still a bit jumpy after the
stalker attack on him.

He cleaned his hands and then he walked over to the door. Eijiro was in front of
it but Katsuki couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw his friend. The short
black hair looked so weird and strange on him. “Uh, hi! Uh, c-come in,” he
felt himself starring. He forced his eyes away and let him in.

“Hey, Kats”, Eijiro hugged him with one arm. He felt Katsuki’s questioning
looks, of course, he knew that his new look came very out of the blue.

He followed Katsuki into the living room, he sat on the couch and waited for
Katsuki to come to join him. He was surprised that the other alpha had even
prepared snacks.

Katsuki eventually sat down too. “So, uh, why the sudden image change?” He
questioned.

Eijiro cleared his throat. “Well, uh, you see, at least for some time, I want
to quit being a hero … I, uh, I just can’t do it anymore …” Eijiro
started. This was good, actually, he still hadn’t figured out how to start,
thankfully Katsuki took the lead.

“Really? That comes as a surprise.” Katsuki raised his eyebrows.

Eijiro shrugged. “I get panic attacks, even thinking of work, I’m sure
that’s a sign that something isn’t right,” he exhaled deeply.

“Absolutely. You shouldn’t force yourself.” Katsuki agreed.

“And my hair was going black anyways because I can’t afford hair dye, so I
thought it would be the best to cut it.”

“Reasonable,” Katsuki nodded, “by the way, has the police found
something?” He meant the guy that had robbed Eijiro.

“No, the guy is a ghost, apparently.” Eijiro exhaled deeply. “So, I’m
looking for a new job, if you know someone, then, uh, you know who to call.”

“Yeah, sure, I will hear around,” Katsuki promised.

“Good …” Eijiro bit down on his lip. “But, uh, that’s not everything
… I need to … I need to tell you something …”

Katsuki raised his eyebrows. “Then shoot.”

Eijiro leaned forward and put his elbows on his knees, he supported his head
with his hands. He exhaled again. “Fuck … I have no idea how to tell you
…”

Now Katsuki got confused. “Is it something bad?”

“Yeah … I mean, it depends how you take it. But generally, I think it’s
bad. I’m afraid that you will hate me after that.”

“Huh? What do you mean? You are really confusing, Eijiro!”

“I know, I should have come forward with this years ago. Bringing it up now
… it feels weird and out of place, but it’s on my mind more than ever and I
feel so much guilt for not telling you …”

“Now you are scaring me. What could be so bad that I might hate you for
this?” Katsuki also leaned a little bit forward.

Eijiro exhaled again. “Okay, I guess, I uh, start with, why I decided to tell
you in the first place.” He rolled up his sleeve to reveal his still bandaged
arm. Katsuki looked at it, in confusion. “On Christmas, I tried to kill
myself.”

Katsuki needed a few seconds to register the words, when he did, his eyes
widened. “What the fuck?! Why?” He was absolutely in shock.

“Because of the shit that went down the months prior. It all piled up until I
just couldn’t take it anymore. I tried to end it, while the others were having
their fun downstairs because nothing really matter to me.”

“What changed your mind then?”

“Well, I had some things in mind and I guess I talked with my alpha? I’m not
sure if that was real, or just my subconscious. Anyway, he pointed out that I
haven’t paid a single cent back to Michiko, I can’t possibly leave my
children alone … then there’s something I have to tell Izuku and lastly, the
thing I need to talk to you about …”

“Well then, uh, what is it?” Katsuki still felt overwhelmed by all of this.
He couldn’t fully process, yet, that his friend had tried to kill himself.

Eijiro stared at the wall across the room, he needed a few more seconds before
he closed his eyes and just jumped into the cold water.

“I slept with Izuku.”

There was a very long and heavy silence between them, while Katsuki tried to
make sense out of the sentence. He furrowed his brows, repeating the words over
and over in his head. “W-what? When? Uh, does Mae know?”

“Uh, yeah, she knows, we, uh, had a foursome, if you want to call it that. It
was some time after your wedding …”

“Huh …” Katsuki made, still processing the fact that Izuku and Eijiro had
sex.

“I-I mean uh, if it was consensual and Mae and Lucia knew about that … uh, I
mean that’s clearly none of my business then … So, why are you telling
me?”

“Because this was the second time I slept with him. My whole urge to sleep
with other alphas stems from the fact that I had slept with him before and I
longed for a repetition … Even though I could suppress it for quite some
time.”

The gears in Katsuki’s head turned even more. “What? The second time? When
was the first time then? When we visited him in Thailand?”

“No … way before that.”

“Come on, Eijiro, don’t be so fucking vague!” He was getting pissed now.
Why couldn’t Eijiro speak clear sentences?

The alpha sighed again. “Do you remember the class trip in the second year?”
Katsuki nodded. “In one of our counseling sessions, you asked me, how I got
out of my rut …” He stared at the blonde alpha.

“I got out, by fucking and getting fucked by Izuku …”

Katsuki’s jaw dropped by that revelation. “You did what?”

“Izuku and I had sex. If you don’t believe me, you can call Tetsutetsu, or
Shoto, or Tenya, or Hitoshi, or the other rutting alphas, or hell, even Kairi
…”

Katsuki leaned back on the couch, exhaling deeply. “Wow … that’s, uh, a
shock, not gonna lie. Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

“Because rut sharing was prohibited at UA. We didn’t want to get in trouble.
But that was the problem. Izuku and I … we didn’t know how to handle it
afterward, because we never talked it out. And then the whole shit with the
werewolves and Toya happened and you almost died, he almost died, and I
couldn’t do anything about it … and afterward, you were lying on his chest,
looking into his eyes …”

He paused for a moment before he looked up to face Katsuki. “At that moment, I
felt that I would never have a chance … I felt that you two were meant for
each other. And, man, was I pissed off. I wasn’t just jealous, I was livid,
but, somehow, I managed to suppress the most of it. I broke things with you and
him off because I felt, I would never fit in …”

“But I don’t understand, Eijiro, aside from the fact, that you slept with
Deku, you already told me what I did wrong. We-” Katsuki stammered, still not
really following why they had the conversation in the first place.

“Because I lied.”

Katsuki stopped. “What?”

“You just said ‘what I did wrong’. You did nothing wrong. My pissed-off
self just wanted to make you believe you did something wrong. You didn’t.”

“Huh?” Katsuki’s thoughts were running in overdrive. He just couldn’t
comprehend what Eijiro was telling him.

“Katsuki, all this time, I made you believe that I was jealous of Izuku for
being with you … That’s not true. It might have been in the moment, but in
hindsight … this was all just a lie. Now that I am at peace with my feelings,
I can see where I was so wrong.” He stared Katsuki in the eyes.

“I wasn’t jealous of Izuku for being with you. I was jealous of you for
being with Izuku.”

Katsuki furrowed his brows, his mouth wide open. “What does this mean, I …
can’t really follow you … What do you want to tell me with that? D-Did you
ever have feelings for me then? Weren’t you and Deku rivals?”

Eijiro thought about his answer for some time. “I thought I had feelings for
you, yeah, I might even have been in love with you, but, it shifted after I
slept with Izuku. We were rivals, but after experiencing this, he was the only
thing on my mind. For days I couldn’t think of anything else but his hands on
me … his dick inside of me … And now I realized that I was falling in love
with him too. My alpha wanted to tell me, that it was okay, to be with Izuku, he
had accepted the prime alpha as his … but, in my confused daze, I mistook it
for something else. I couldn’t possibly be with Izuku …”

The blonde alpha gulped when he heard Eijiro’s confession, he still didn’t
know what to make of it. His palms were sweaty and he rubbed them off on his
jeans.

“And then my stupid ass did the next stupid thing … I was pissed off at you,
for trying to steal the prime alpha from me. You once said to me, that I was
just the backup alpha if Izuku wouldn’t want you … Well, I guess I was
worse, I saw you as my rival, your omega wanted to steal the prime alpha from me
… this pissed me off so much, that’s why I was so aggressive towards you in
the first place. Why was it you?! Was it because I was not an omega? Did he like
you more because you were? How was it fair? I wanted him for myself and you were
just in the way of that … That’s why I couldn’t stand to look at you. You
had stolen my object of obsession from me … And you were ‘just an
omega’…” he put the last statement in air quotations.

Katsuki bit on his bottom lip. “So … you say that you were just horny for
Deku and you were mad at me, for being with him, after you broke things off with
me … and him?”

“Yes, you see, when I went to tell him that it was over, all I wished for, was
that he grabbed me, and pushed me against the wall, I wanted him to kiss me or
do other stuff with me … I wanted him to tell me, that everything will be
okay, that he won’t let me go … but he just said okay, basically, and then
he went over to you. This … made me even madder because it confirmed it for
me, I, as an alpha, will never have a chance against an omega …”

“But why did you break it off in the first place?! If you had talked to us
about your feelings … then I’m sure we could have found a solution! But I
didn’t even know what you two had done!” Katsuki got a little louder now, he
felt so agitated, talking about this time upset him greatly, all the shit he
went through …

“Because I was dumb, and I know that you wanted us both, but I wasn’t
willing to share Izuku with you anymore. I didn’t want that at the time, I
know that it was stupid, but I wanted to be the only one that he looked at. But
no, he was seemingly attracted to omegas … It was so frustrating for me …
You have no idea how much I wished I could have been an omega …”

This irritated Katsuki so much. “You could have transitioned?” He
questioned.

“No, I don’t want to be an omega, I’m an alpha! But I mean, if me becoming
an omega was a requirement for having Izuku for myself, I would have done it.
But that’s not the point …”

Eijiro exhaled again. “The point is, I made your life hell during these
months, I was so cruel towards you, for things you couldn’t possibly know. I
… I heard your explosions at night, I knew what you were doing …” Katsuki
gasped when he got reminded of his actions of self-harm, “I wanted to go over
to tell you everything, but I never did. Because you ‘stole’ Izuku from me,
and you were the reason he left altogether, taking my chance of being with him
away. I wanted you to suffer …”

A wave of nausea washed over Katsuki when he heard that. Eijiro had heard him
exploding his arms, yet he never made an attempt to help him? “What I meant to
say, you did nothing wrong, Katsuki. You couldn’t know what was in my head.
Heck, for the most time, I didn’t even know what was wrong in my head. You
even tried to make it up to me, Izuku told me about the last conversation you
had with him. I knew you were in love with him, and after stepping back … I
shouldn’t have been so pissed off. I should have tried to communicate with you
two. Instead, I vilified you … I made you miserable when you already suffered
so much. I knew you were struggling, that you still had feelings for me too,
yet, I couldn’t step over my shadow and release you from your pain. Even
throughout all the counseling sessions, I kept lying … I deliberately kept
quiet about Izuku and me …”

He shook his head quickly, he then bowed in front of Katsuki, while still
staying on the couch, he would have knelt in front of him, but the coffee table
made this impossible.

Katsuki stared down at him, his breathing was faster when his mind raced back to
all the pain he lived through because of that. All the things he convinced
himself were his fault … It was so overwhelming, too much information at once
… He couldn’t comprehend it all at once.

“A-And what do you expect from me now? Hm?” Katsuki asked instead. He could
barely hold his voice in order. He wanted to scream at him, but he controlled
himself. Shouting wouldn’t help here.

“Nothing! I needed to tell you what really happened, it was eating me inside
out! But if you hate me now that’s fine, I accept this. You have every right
to be mad at me, to hate me for being such an awful person. I made you suffer so
much …”

Katsuki scoffed. “I was in love with you for so long … After Deku was gone,
I yearned for you … Did you … ever think about me the same way you thought
about Deku? The same was I thought about you?”

“The only times I thought of you in a sexual way were when your heat was
triggering me and … when I was at your door, drunk, after Hitomi left, and
only after you became an alpha … other than that, no. Never when I was clear
…”

Katsuki pulled his legs up on the couch, sat criss-cross applesauce and he put
his head on his knuckles. He closed his eyes and shook his head. “So … you
basically tell me that I wasn’t even desirable to you during school because I
was still an omega? And that … no matter what, my feelings were for naught
because I wasn’t up to your standards, even now, when I’m alpha?”

“Basically, yes.” Eijiro sat up again. “You have no idea how much it
bothered me, that you wanted to sleep with him when we visited Thailand. Only
because I had Hitomi at the time, I didn’t rip your throat out … Believe me,
I wanted it … to hear that he fucked other alpha … it made me so jealous
…”

“Wow … that’s just … damn,” Katsuki let out a heavy sigh. “It’s so
fucked up …” He leaned back looking up at the ceiling.

“But what now? Izuku is happily married and mated, you have also a fiancé and
mate.” Katsuki was still pissed off, but he wanted to see what Eijiro was
going to do about these obvious reasons.

“Actually, Mae and I broke up. We’ll get a bond scrubbing next week. I just
can’t be with her anymore.” He chuckled humorlessly. “And yeah, I know
that Izuku is happy on the other end of the world. I guess I can never confess
to him like that. I don’t know if Lucia and he were up for a throuple or
something …” he murmured.

Katsuki gritted his teeth. The thought of Eijiro being with Izuku and his wife
angered him. He knew it was stupid, he was absolutely happy with Hiroto and he
wouldn’t change that, but he had just heard that all his pain was caused
because Eijiro didn’t want to talk openly about his feelings. Everything could
have been avoided! It still hurt to know that he wasn’t even desired, he had
been in love with Eijiro … He had been in love with Deku too, yet, they both
kept this secret from him …

“Could you please go, I need to think about some stuff,” Katsuki murmured.
He still stared at the ceiling.

“Yeah … alright. I, uh, will go then …” Awkwardly, Eijiro stood up and
walked over to the door, he looked back at his friend. “I’m sorry, again, to
have caused you so much trouble. And … I-” He sighed. “I hope you can
forgive me, if not, then it is okay too. But I don’t want to lose you as a
friend …”

Katsuki still ignored him, he stared at the ceiling and waited for him to go.
“Fucking shit” he murmured, when he heard the front door close shut.

He cursed at himself for feeling so dumb right now, god, he had been such a
naïve teenager back then. He had thought so hard about why he had fucked up so
much … when in reality it had been Eijiro?

Katsuki got up from the couch and he walked upstairs to his bedroom and jumped
into his nest. He felt like a fool for having so strong emotions for Eijiro back
then. How could he have been so blind? He cursed at himself while pulling a
blanket over himself. He needed time to think about that. What should he do
now?

It was over ten years by now that this had happened, yet it felt like it had
happened yesterday all of a sudden. He didn’t want to think about it if he was
honest.

He inhaled Hiroto’s scent that was heavily worked into the blanket and it made
him feel better instantly.

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